manque d'idées!!!

bonjour à tous , je suis à cour d'idées,j'ai un devoir d'anglais et ej dois faire 4 paragrhaphes et dans chacun d'entre eux j e doisrepeondre à ces questions:
who is responsable for gun violence in us? WHY? what can be done to improve the situation?
IL FAUT QUE JE TROUVE 4 COUPABLES
j'ai fais des recherches et j'ai pensé à accuser :
--l'état car il n'on pas interdit la constitution sur le port d'arme , et pour remedier à cette violence ils devraient mettre à disposition des jeunes des psy, ameliorer leur niveau sociale(activités...) car la plus part de ces jeunes responsables de violence sont en difficulté...

-- les parents pas trop d'importance accordé à leur enfant trop préocupé par leur travail ils devraient être plus à l'écoute des jeunes, leurs accorder du temps et ne pas avoir d'armes à la maison car la plus part des jeunes qui ont commis des meutres utilisent les armes de leurs parents, faire connaissance avec les copain qu'il frequente, en gros savoir ce qu'ils font et où ils vont.

--après j'en sait rien
il me manque deux idées

je vous remercie d'avance

- pour rejoindre l'état, les lobbys des armes à feu qui financent les campagnes présidentielles les hommes pouvoirs n'interdisent donc pas la vente d'arme les lobbys financent les campagnes...Enfin bref, c'est un cycle sans fin

- les vendeurs d'armes : qui ne sont pas tous hyper clean (ne vérifient pas forcément tout ce qu'ils devraient faire : identité, âge...)

merci, mais le problème c que ça on l'a déjà dit en cours avec des exemple précis à moins que je mette cela en généralisant comme tu viens de me le dire

bah je ne sais pas...il faut voir si ce que tu dois faire c'est formuler toutes les idées qui ont été émises pendant le cours (en précisant si besoin est) ou si il faut emettre que des nouvelles idées...Souvent ce qu'on demande en cours, c'est plutôt une sorte de résumé de ce qui a pu etre dit...Apres je ne voudrais pas t'emmener dans une mauvaise direction...

merci je pense que je vais me débrouiller et pas trop me compliquer la tête, merci encore!!!!

ok bon courage à toi...tiens nous au courant pour savoir ce que ça a donné

voilà j'ai ecrit une parti et j'aimerais savoire si il ya des corrections à apporter, merci!

American is losing too many children to gun violence. But all that is because of some persons who turn a blind eye on tragics moment, they continue to do nothing .
First of all i think that the maiden culpable are the government because if they forbid guns all those dramatics things would not happened, even children can get guns easily. Even if they can't abolish this constitution, they can create some organisation in order to redirect student , or just don't allowed people to bear an gun at school .

Then the second guilty person are parents. Indeed,parent pay not enough attention to their children and the fact that they have guns in house can attract their intention ; so children and teenager will imitate their parents because it's knew that children think that parents show the good example. So to sat straight of this violence, parents ought to give attention, sat a limit to their children, and the most important is not to have gun in house because the great majority of gun used to kill student came from their houses that use father's gun or Gran father's gun…

But before parents and the government they are also the lobbyists, who for the gun industry are deceptively because is pushing Congress to enact dangerous and sweeping legislation.the gun lobby is fighting proposed legislation to increase the length of background checks for firearms purchases at gun shows to ten days. So in order to remedy to this the government shouldn't listen to those person who go counter to the wellbeing but it's so difficult because the lobby finance hustings …

And the third persons to accuse are sellers , in general there don't care , they only want to sell guns , and get money so the problem are many person can get easily guns.And to confront that, the state had better control arms stores.


et ça c la suite je vous en serait très reconnaissante si quelqu'n pouvait m'aider à corriger les fautes que g surement faite merci !!!

Salut !

Alors je vais me tenter à corriger un peu, mais je ne te promets pas que je trouverais tout

American America (ou the USA) is losing too many children to gun violence. But all of that thisis because of some persons who turn a blind eye on tragics tragic moments, they continue to do nothing.
First of all I think that the maiden (? Tu veux dire "main") culpable culprit is the government because if they forbid guns all those dramatics things would not happened, even children can get guns easily. Even if they can't abolish this constitution, they can create some organisations in order to redirect (?) students, or just don't allowed not to allow people to bear an guns at school.

par contre, tu devrais couper des phrases parce que y'en a qui sont longues et qui partent dans tous les sens ><

Then the second guilty persons are parents Then the second group of guilty persons is parents.Indeed, parents pay not don't pay enough attention to their children and the fact that they have guns in their house can attract their children's intention ; so children and teenagers will imitate their parents because it's knew known that children think that parents show the good example. So to sat straight of this violence, parents ought to give attention, sat a limit to their children (???), and the most important is not to have guns in houses because the great majority of most guns used to kill students came from their houses that use father's gun or Gran father's gun… a student father's or grandfather's house.

> Pour la première phrase, il faudrait revoir ça, puisque je ne sais pas trop quoi mettre au pluriel >_<

merci beaucoup pour ton aide!!!

But before parents and the government they are also the lobbyists, who for the gun industry are deceptively because is pushing Congress to enact dangerous and sweeping legislation.the gun lobby is fighting proposed legislation to increase the length of background checks for firearms purchases at gun shows to ten days. So in order to remedy to this the government shouldn't listen to those person who go counter to the wellbeing but it's so difficult because the lobby finance hustings …

And the third persons to accuse are sellers , in general there don't care , they only want to sell guns , and get money so the problem are many person can get easily guns.And to confront that, the state had better control arms stores.

par contre si tu pourrai regarder cette parti stp ru me serai d'un grand secour... je veux pas abuser de ton temps ... merci

But before parents and the government, they there are also the lobbyists, who, for the gun industry, are deceptively because is pushing Congress to enact dangerous and sweeping legislation (???). the gun lobby is fighting proposed legislation to increase the length of background checks for firearms purchases at gun shows to ten days. So in order to remedy to this the government shouldn't listen to those person who go counter to the wellbeing but it's so difficult because the lobby finance hustings …

And the third persons to accuse are sellers , in general there don't care , they only want to sell guns , and get money so the problem are many person can get easily guns.And to confront that, the state had better control arms stores.

... Le soucis c'est que je comprends rien à cette partie... As tu utilisé un traducteur ?

A la rigueur, dis moi ce que tu veux dire que je modifie en fonction de ta signification :/

non g pas utilisé de traducteur

je voulais mettre que les gens du lobby sont trompeur et insiste le gouvernement à autoriser le port d'arme car c eux même qui finance les partis electoral...